Pain brings out the best or the worse in humans. Well, let’s include animals. If a child in discovery stage decides to feel a dog’s eye, the dog may react to the hurt by snipping or biting the child’s finger. If your intended life partner cheats you are in pain. But Christ-followers stand before God and promise faithfulness to one another. Promise broken: Pain Results
What to Do Next?
How should the Christ-follower respond to this rejection? Your thoughts are consumed with the betrayal of someone you trusted. You focus on that person and the third party. Rehearsing their sin in your mind brings more pain. Stuffing the anguish down in your right leg is not a permanent solution. STOP IT! There’s a better way.
The more you give attention to sin the more you become sinful. The more you pay homage to your spouse by dwelling on him/her, the more likely you are to become like them. You don’t want that, do you? We are what we think about. If you want to become God-like, you must focus on God and His attributes.
What to Do Instead
Here’s how. Every morning you wake up in a daze with no clear thoughts even of what day it is. Then you come to conscious thinking and remember that you are facing another day of the pain of betrayal.
Immediately turn it over to God. Take this cup from me might be your plea each day. Every time hurtful thoughts come to mind cast them upon your loving Savior and focus on Him and His love. He will never leave you nor forsake you. What a blessed thought. Keep a list of such attributes and dwell on them. You must replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. You can’t just leave your mind blank and expect the old to disappear. Replacement therapy is what it’s all about
Catch yourself/observe your conversations. Count the times you talk to people about your spouse or former spouse. STOP IT. If they want to cut him down or criticize, come right out and ask them nicely to nix it. Work on what your reaction will be and practice saying it out loud before hand.This will enable you to respond in a Christ-like manner. As you discipline your thoughts, and observe your attitudes you will be working on controlling your speech. You are the only one who can control your thoughts. Saturate your mind with the powerful word of God. It changes you. Replace thougts, replace conversation with positive words.
Proceed to the healing stage. Find a Christian counselor to get help. (See list of Resources at top of page below banner.) Grab a copy of the following by clicking on title below. Practice the STOP, THINK, OBSERVE and PROCEED in all areas. When you receive wise counsel, follow it’s procedures. Listen and learn.
Marlene Hibbard is not a professional counselor and recommends the above Christ-followers for counseling services. This site offers resources and advice from Hibbard’s personal experience and experience in counseling as a Pastor’s wife for twenty-plus years. This site is not intended to be a substitute for getting professional help but encourages readers to get professional help.